My Heart is Sore!


    My mum left to go back to the south coast last night after spending two weeks with my sister and two weekends in a row with me. It was so wonderful to have her stay with us and be part of our wee family, even if it was only for a couple of days. She is brilliant with the children and she has a wisdom and calm about her that makes me feel safe and secure. She has endless patience and she is so easy to talk to. She has such inner strength and stays positive no matter what. I think her relationship with God has something to do with that.

    I normally cry when my mum leaves to go home but it doesn’t last too long because I know I’ll see her again soon but last night I was really sobbing. Luckily my Boerewors was there to hold me tight while the tears trickled down my cheeks.

    You would think that it would get easier to say goodbye after her being living down in the south coast for ten years but, it doesn’t. It gets harder and I think its getting harder because I see my mum is getting older and I realise she’s not going to be around forever. I guess I feel that I never know when I’m going to see her again and the fact that I can’t just “pop in” when I need her or miss her. I want to be there for HER. She’s been there for me no matter what and now that she’s getting older she can’t do everything she used to be able to – physically I mean. She has arthritis in her back and wrists and I can see its sore but she tries to hide it well and carry on regardless. I wish I could help her out and take care of her like she’s done for me all these years. My mum has had a rough life and been to hell and back moving her family to a new country, feeling alone in a new country and now alone in her marriage.

    The longing feeling is still with me today even though I have called my mum on the phone to make sure she got home okay…I still feel empty and sad.

    She's my best friend and the best and most special mum in the world!!!

    I love you!
    Source URL: http://gotobeskinnybitch.blogspot.com/2009/08/
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I Can Sing a Rainbow

    This is a gorgeous little song that my mum taught Kaylin and Megan while she was here this weekend (with the actions) and now they can't stop singing it.

    This will be Granny's Song and it has a lovely sweet little melody to it. It reminds me of when I was little and my mum used to sing it to my sister and I.

    Source URL: http://gotobeskinnybitch.blogspot.com/2009/08/
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A Message for Wade

Conversations with Megan


    Last night after the bath, Megan was sitting on the bedroom floor carpet, her dad blowdrying her hair and we were talking about dangerous things in and around the home.


    She was listing the usual things:


    • Don't run with scissors

    • Don't stick your finger in the electric plug holes

    • Don't touch the hot stove

    and then...

    • "A hairdrier, because if Daddy puts the hairdrier too near my hair it BURNS MY HEAD like he's doing NOW *pointing with both thumbs towards her scalp* Och!!!

    Gosh I laughed at her...so matter of fact...

    Source URL: http://gotobeskinnybitch.blogspot.com/2009/08/
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Laugh Yer Arse Off!

Megan has Official been Accepted to Big School!


    We were all sitting down to enjoy supper this evening, when we heard a "toot-toot" of a car horn at our gate. We didn't recognise the car, so Riaan went out to the gate and it was the Admissions Officer from Megan's Primary School.

    She hand-delivered Megan's papers for school next year and had a letter attached that she'd been provisionally accepted. We only need to complete all her documentation and pay her enrollment fee within two weeks for her Registration to be completed.

    The Admissions Officer said that they take the opportunity hand-delivery the letters in order to make courtsey calls to all new Grade One admissions as a double check that applications come from families that are in the designated "legal" areas for their particular school.

    I guess its another safety measure that your children will be in small classes with learners from the demarcated areas only.

    Brilliant! I was very impressed with their methods and their professionalism.

    My Wee Button Megan is now officially a Primary School Learner from 2010. Gosh! That's pretty scary - it just means I'm getting old and that my baby is on her way through the education system.

    She is so excited about starting "Big School" next year and I'd hate to burst her bubble by telling her she has 12 long years of school, homework, projects, school athletics ahead of her. Perhaps then she wouldn't be quite so excited.

    So, for now we will take it one semester at a time and start saving up for school uniforms and stationery.

    Its all quiet bitter-sweet.
    Source URL: http://gotobeskinnybitch.blogspot.com/2009/08/
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Maccie D's Mona Lisa

Got 4 stands at Buffelspoort!!!


    30 October to 1 November.


    Here's the list so far:
    1. Chris
    2. Dirk
    3. Irene
    4. Piet
    5. Mandy
    6. Percy
    7. Richard
    8. Gillian
    9. Riaan
    10. Megan
    11. Kaylin
    12. Wouter
    13. Chanelle
    14. Wikus
    15. Natasha
    16. Norman
    17. Donovan
    18. Tammy
    19. Melanie
    20. Shaun
    21. Rassie
    22. Ria
    23. Desiree
    24. Chey
    25. Ouma

    So that means we have one extra person but I'm sure the camp official won't even realise. Hmmmm wishful thinking, I suppose.

    We are missing a few key people: Fiona and Steve who have work committments so they can't predict whether they will be able to join us until closer to the time. Justin, who is writing exams (poor bugger) and Ellen who will be at home work hard. We will miss them but I'm sure we'll fill them in with truck loads of photos for all us camera happy gals.

    So, let me know if you think we should do a Boeresports seeing as we're going to be at Buffels (our original Boeresports venue). Irene has already volunteered to help me out.

    Leave a Comment below to let me know what you guys think. I have tons of ideas.

    Source URL: http://gotobeskinnybitch.blogspot.com/2009/08/
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Questions! Questions!

    Nicked this from Laura because I enjoyed reading her answers so much. I know its long but its fun. Here's mine

    What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?
    The end of my pen.

    Have you ever kissed anyone named Matthew?
    This is a weird one but no, I haven't.

    Where was your default picture taken?
    In a Randburg Photostudio

    Who was the last person you rode in a car with under the age of 20?
    My girls

    Can you play guitar hero?
    I rock HARD on Guitar Hero Legends of Rock and World Tour.

    Last time you walked further than a block?
    Yesterday my wee family took a walk to the local shop to get out in the sunshine.

    How late did you stay up last night and why?
    I'm an "early to bed" girl and we had a late night party on Saturday so I was in bed by 8:30 last night.

    If you could move somewhere else, would you?
    I am quite content where I am right now.

    Do you believe ex’s can be friends?
    I tried - but no.

    Do you like calling or texting better?
    I'm a soopa blitz-lightening texter

    When was the last time you cried really hard?
    On Friday night watching the Bachelorette. Pathetic, I know.

    Where are you at right now?
    Behind my PC at work

    What bed did you sleep in last night?
    My own little "heaven on earth" bed with my boerewors.

    What was the last thing someone bought for you?
    Chocolate from Sharon this morning

    Who took your profile picture?
    Delynda

    Who was the last person you took a picture of?
    My stunning mother

    Was yesterday better than today?
    Of course I didn't have to go to work, I was lazing in the sunshine talking to my mum and playing imaginery tea parties with my girls

    Can you live a day without TV?
    Nope.

    When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?
    Extremely being the operative word right? Hmmmm can't remember

    Are you a bad influence?
    When it comes to alcoholic cocktails, Yeah I am.

    Night out or night in?
    Depends - both a pretty awesome.

    Are you more of an individual or an outgoing person?
    Outgoing without a doubt - my lips don't stop flappin'

    What items could you not go without during the day?
    My cuppa tea and a fag.

    Would you share a drink with a stranger?
    Strangers? Not a chance!

    Do you think it’s right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced?
    Sure, my Boerewors and I got ours pierced at the same time

    Have you ever thrown shoes on a telephone wire?
    And ruin a good pair of shoes? No way José!

    What does the last message in your inbox say?
    "New prospect".

    How do you feel about your life right now?
    Content and happy

    How many times have you been pulled over by the police?
    Too many to mention. The Orange Focus ST and Laser Jammer does the trick.

    Do you hate anyone?
    Detest but not hate.

    Do you talk dirty to people?
    I have a mouth like a sailor if thats what you mean. If you mean sexual, then I would if my Boerewors asked me to.

    If we were to look in your inbox, what would we find?
    Conversations with friends and loads of work to do.

    Did you have a valentine this year?
    My Boerewors

    Last person you talked to on the phone?
    Nicoel at work

    Can you easily tell if someone is fake?
    Usually. Unless they are a master of disguise.

    How’s your heart?
    Healthy and Pumpin'

    Say you were given a drug test right now, Would you pass?
    Of course. I say No to Crack - even the one between my arse cheeks. Nothing worse than plumbers crack.

    Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
    No

    What song is stuck in your head?
    Does that make your craaaaaazzeeeee??? and my nephew playing "Peggy Sue" on Acoustic guitar yesterday...

    Someone knocks on your window at 2 am, who do you want it to be?
    Hopefully a Friendly face and not a robber (if they get over the 6 foot wall and electric fence)

    What do you have to do this week?
    Loads of orders and follow ups. Loads of contracts and meetings

    Can you whistle?
    Very loud yes

    Do you sleep on your side, stomach, or back?
    Side

    What gets in your way of your sleeping?
    My wicked thoughts and my snoring boerewors.

    Are your eyes the same colour as your mom’s or dad’s?
    My dad's eyes

    Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
    Yip

    Do you think too much or too little?
    Far too much - I'm a worry wart.

    Do you smile a lot?
    Big wide gummy smiles

    Why was the last missed call on your phone?
    I was outside playing with the girls

    Are you happy with your life?
    Very happy

    Can you handle the truth?
    I try but I'll give you a good argument about it (most probably)

    Do you get 8 hours of sleep everyday?
    Yes I need all the help I can get with beauty sleep. I aint getting any younger!

    What was the last book you read?
    How to Tame your Spirited Child without breaking their spirit.

    Is there something you always wear?
    My engagement ring

    What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
    I think I was typing the answers to this quiz. Its taking forever....

    Honestly, who was the last person to tell that they love you?
    My Boerewors

    Are you an emotional person?
    I am very emtional and cry at the drop of a Dr Phil episiode

    What’s something that can always make you feel better?
    Copious amonts of chocolate, with a fag and a cuppa tea.

    Will this weekend be a good one?
    Every weekend it a goodie

    What do you want right now?
    Tweet

    Look behind you, what do you see?
    Irma's office and the view of Meyersdal

    Have you ever worked in a food place?
    Waitressed at Scrooge Diner or a while and the freaky goings-on in the kitchens.


    Thanks for reading!Source URL: http://gotobeskinnybitch.blogspot.com/2009/08/
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Daft Pick Up Lines

Mum's Visit!

    My mum came up from the south coast last week to help my sister Janie out with wee Claire. Janie has to get back to work as Mick was retrenched and is in the process of starting his own venture MG Steelwork. (Let me know if you need an expert welder who does customised security steelworks and ballistrades).

    Anyhoo, I collected my mum from my sister's place on Saturday so she could spend time with our wee family. It was great to have her we always talk the biggest load of rubbish!

    She also looked after the girls for us on Saturday night so we could have an "adult night out" and went to Bruce's birthday party (just my Boerewors and I).

    On Sunday we went out for breakfast together and we spent the rest of the day sitting outside in the sun. I brought out the girls plastic table and KK kept herself busy all afternoon with her teaset and filling and refilling jugs of water and pouring from one container to the other.

    Who knew it would keep her busy for hours while my mum and I natterd about everything and anything. In between sipping "Kaylin tea", we talked a lot about my Gran and her best friend and what mischief they used to get up to when my mum was little.

    We enjoyed the sunshine (I got slightly burnt)....summer is on its way...

    ...until I woke up this morning to overcast skies and mist...*grumble*

    Not quite Summer yet, I suppose.


    Granny discussing the quality of Kaylin "Tea Shop" and the lack of good snacks and services.
    My mum is just the best with the girls!! She's the Master at playing Pretend. While drinking Kaylin Tea, she had her pinky finger in the air and was saying "Idol Chatter, Idol Gossip" which made Kaylin giggled. She's so silly - now I know where I get it from.
    Granny demonstrates how to drink a cup of Kaylin-Tea properly - Pinkie in the air
    Megan popped in to our tea party to pose for the camera
    (between playing XBox games, of course)

    Kaylin building tower blocks

    Freaky Worms
    Our sausages with spagetti through the middle
    Silly Granny frightening the neighbours
    Megan and Granny playing knights and castles

    Megan, Granny, Kaylin


    Source URL: http://gotobeskinnybitch.blogspot.com/2009/08/
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Happy Birthday Bruce!

    Belinda and Ryan.
    They won the Guiness Book of World Record Award
    for sucking face for most of the night
    Sharon and Bruce have a romantic moment Giggles and tongues - I have the video to prove it, Sha


    Me and my Boerewors


    Pat and Tommy rocked the dance floor. Man, can they jive!!



    Kyle - need I say more?


    Some of the guests

    Bruce making his birthday speech with Warren about to "go Chinese buttsex on him"

    Bruce saying a few more words (Dave - our music man - in the background)


    Birthday boi


    Source URL: http://gotobeskinnybitch.blogspot.com/2009/08/
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Friday Night Wine and Guitar Hero

    I was discussing with Riaan earlier in the week that we were going to have a quiet family night on Friday. We've got such a hectic social life that sometimes I feel the need to kick back and be silly with my wee family. No others involved. (heck, no offence to my many wonderful friends but we all need some immediate family time).

    We said that we were going to get pizza delivery, a bottle of wine and play Guitar Hero World Tour with Megan on drums, mum and dad on the guitars and KK on her little electric guitar (the batteries of course mysteriously dissappeared. Its one of those annoying toys that you wished you never bought). KK jammed on her little toy guitar, even though she's not really playing the game with us, she still feels part of the game and The Band.

    We had fun rockin' in our Family Band.

    But because it was such a chilly evening, we went for an early HOT bubble bath and then all piled into our double bed (a very tight squeeze) our bed by 8:30! Within 10 minutes, Riaan and Kaylin were snoring and Megan and I watched the final of The Bachelorette together.

    Megan fell asleep half way through the programme sprawled out like a star-fish and I landed up trying to get comfy on about 6 inches of bed!! During one of the ad breaks, I carried KK and Meg through to their own beds so I could actually enjoy the ending of The Bachelorette with a little bit of comfy space and without two children's sleepy snoring noises.

    I landed up in tears at the end of the show. I couldn't believe she picked Jessie instead of Jason. I was devastated and felt she'd made a HUGE mistake. What the hell was she thinking???

    Then this got me thinking, why do I get so emotionally involved in these shallow, frivolous reality shows? Its quite pathetic! I just can't help myself though. I should've rather spent the time online or reading a good book.

    Och well, I must admit I wouldn't be able to go cold turkey on watching my favourite reality TV shows and series'. My addiction is too far gone for that....

    Is there perhaps a Reality TV Show support group I can join?

    "Hi, my name is Gillian and I'm a Reality TV Show Addict. Please have mercy on my square eyes..."




    Jesse Csincsak

    Source URL: http://gotobeskinnybitch.blogspot.com/2009/08/
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What's not to like about the Mooncup?


    Article from the Mail and Guardian


    Every year, in Britain alone, a staggering 1bn tampons and sanitary towels are used and disposed of – many ending up in the sewerage system.

    If that figure gives you a PMT-type headache consider this: the average woman – if such a woman exists – uses 11,000 sanitary items during her lifetime, spending around £90 a year.
    It may be tempting to suggest you look away now if you're at all squeamish about this subject, but that squeamishness, it seems, serves the large sanitary protection manufacturers very well and the environment very badly.
    While we avoid talking about it, many of those towels, tampons and liners, with all their attendant plastic applicators and stayfresh perfumes, are being flushed unthinkingly down the toilet. Next time you do that, spare a thought for those whose job it is to manually scrape this sort of junk out of liquid sewage before it enters treatment plants, so that it can then be sent to landfill.

    There are eco-friendly alternatives, however. The Mooncup is one of them. A silicone cup that collects menstrual blood, it's washable, reusable and about as green as you can get. Its growing popularity means it is no longer the preserve of hippy health shops. Boots now stock them in all their stores, you will find them on eBay and they're available to order from Amazon. According to Mooncup, medical research dating back as far as 1918 has found that the pesticides used in growing the cotton for tampons, and the bleach to make them white, can be absorbed into the body.

    It's only when I come to try the Mooncup that I realise my relationship with Tampax tampons, which began when I was an unquestioning teenager 30 years ago, is my longest-held brand loyalty.

    But the Mooncup, on paper at least, makes far more sense. It contains none of those bleaches or toxins and it won't cause toxic shock syndrome (TSS). There are 30 cases of this potentially fatal build-up of the bacterium Staphylococcus aureus in the UK each year and half are linked to tampon use. Two or three women die of TSS every year with teenage girls most at risk because they tend to change their tampons less frequently than they should.

    Ever read the leaflet in your box of Tampax? I have now and even it suggests using a pad instead of a tampon at least once a day. "You can also essentially eliminate the risk of menstrual TSS by not using tampons," it adds ominously.

    The Mooncup, which has been around for around 70 years in one form or another, has no history of TSS. It will, however, save you loads of money, last for years and take up hardly any room in your luggage. The R330 cups come in two sizes relating to age and whether you've had children or not. What, then, is not to like? I'm not squeamish and I think it's the name that's put me off as much as anything but I take the plunge and order one. A squidgy eggcup with a stem for removal, and the website address embossed handily around the edge, arrives. It looks like a piece of the plumbing system, which, I suppose, it is.
    I have a couple of practices and while at first it seems alarmingly springy, within a very short time I'm whipping it in and out and feeling very proud of myself. You can also turn to YouTube for help.

    Then it was time to use it for real. And you know what? It was fine. More than fine, actually. It was really interesting. "Oh, so it's only that much blood and that consistency," I found myself musing. I even felt I'd been cheated of this information about what my body produces, all these years.

    It didn't leak or get stuck and I honestly couldn't feel it.

    For the first time in aeons I didn't suffer a single stomach cramp. Mooncup's manufacturers put this down to the lower position of the cup in the vagina and the fact that it is non-absorbent and doesn't soak up natural secretions, as conventional tampons do.
    The Mooncup's capacity is much greater than the most super-absorbent tampon so it can even cope on those days when you need 12 hours in bed. A couple of months down the line it has reduced the headstress I'd been suffering brought on by what I thought were heavy periods. In fact, I realise now, it was just the tampon's inability to cope, rather than my body's fault, and I haven't used a single back-up liner. Yes, there's a bit of faffing about with washing when you come to empty it every six or eight hours but you don't even need to do that. If you haven't any water to hand a quick wipe with loo roll is OK.
    Removal, on the other hand, involves some fairly undignified suction noises. But that's a very small price to pay for something that significantly contributes to reducing your ecological footprint and makes the whole period palaver more tolerable.

    I've also given the washable tampon-like Sea Pearls, made of sustainably harvested sea sponge, a whirl. They're slightly scratchy, and after the certainty of the Mooncup, I think I'll pass.
    Of course, says my sister, a Mooncup convert of several years, when I relate all this back to her, but if you want to do the real hippy thing you should empty the blood from your Mooncup onto your compost heap. She hasn't gone that far. And neither will I.

    But, with equal certainty, I can say the Mooncup's here to stay.

    Source URL: http://gotobeskinnybitch.blogspot.com/2009/08/
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Wee Claire Jane

Fantastic Facial


    WOW! What a great afternoon. I went to Thaba Ya Batswana's Day Spa - Sinzinani for a Deep Cleansing Facial. I could've stayed there all day. Such a beautiful setting - quiet and peaceful. The twittering of birds in the back-ground and a stunning view of the Klipriversberg Nature Reserve in Alberton.
    A great venue for weddings and conferences. They have the kewtest Rondawel accommodation (four star nogal) with all the bells and whistles. A stunning restaurant and of course their lovely Day Spa.
    What a treat to just lie there for an hour while someone pampers my face and listening to pan pipes, breathing in fragrant candles and grapeseed facial products. Total relaxation...what a treat.
    Afterward it was off to The Glen for a bit of retail therapy and some sale search and bargain hunting. What a great afternoon.

    It was just what I need to restore my mood. (PMS is bad this month - my poor hubby).
    This evening its Wine and Guitar Hero with the family...




    Source URL: http://gotobeskinnybitch.blogspot.com/2009/08/
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A Colonoscopy Journal


    I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis . Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

    I left Andy' s office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies. I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.

    Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep.. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-literplastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon. The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.'

    This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground. MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

    After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

    At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.

    Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.

    When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere.. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA.

    I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate. 'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.. I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.

    Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that it was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.


    ABOUT THE WRITER Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.

    On the subject of Colonoscopies... Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

    1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!

    2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'

    3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'

    4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

    5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'

    6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

    7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'

    8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

    9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!

    10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'

    11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'

    And the best one of all.

    12. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'
    Source URL: http://gotobeskinnybitch.blogspot.com/2009/08/
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The Benefits of Pets

    The girls and I have been dying to get a wee doggie for ages. I know it would be good for them but Riaan is hearing NOTHING of it.


    I know we said a few years ago when we lost our Dougie (our cat), that we were never going to have pets again..we get too attached and are devastated when we loose our beloved furry family members.

    I know that Furry Friends decrease stress and give unconditional love. What a better friend for the girls to have? They even encourage us to get outside and exercise - taking the doggie to the park for a run or walk. They improve our mood when we get home after a stressful day at work, we're always greeted with a doggie smooch and a wagging tail...no questions asked.


    It would also teach the girls some responsibility - having to care for a pet. Bathing, brushing, feeding, cleaning up the dog poo, exercising, playing and loving.


    Yes, pets come with additional responsibilities and work. We need to consider them when we go away for a break, we need to consider their happiness at home when we're at work (get two!). There are many pros and cons but I think the pro out-weigh the cons at this stage.


    There are tons of Pooch Palaces, Doggie Daycare and Canine Country Clubs these days that you can leave your furry friends with if you go away for the weekend and there is always pet sitters and friends who would be more than willing to babysit for a few days...











    Look at these cute furry cuties and tell me its not a good idea....if anyone knows what kinda of doggie this is, leave a message in the comments section below!












    Source URL: http://gotobeskinnybitch.blogspot.com/2009/08/
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Another Surprise

    Riaan took us girls to the shops this morning and surprised me by buying me my much sought after laptop! My very own acer notebook. How kewl?

    I told him we could've used the money for other things - things that we need more than a laptop, things for the house but he said that he's wanted to buy me one for ages and never had the opportunity. I guess it is his money so who am I tell him how to spend it.

    You see, Riaan got a kick-back from SARS and decided to spend some of it on me. He said "Call it a belated Birthday gift". If you remember I didn't get a gift this year...well, I did, just a wee bit late.

    I am using it as we speak, sitting on the couch under a blanket as I only got 3 hours sleep last night. My insomnia seems to be getting worse. I'm knackered and have been battling all week to stay asleep. Lying wide awake counting the ceiling panels or running through the day's events or trying to count sheep....its awful. Even after two sleeping tablets which did nothing but make me stumble all over the place and feel hungover today.

    Got any cures for insomnia??? Any suggestions will help at this stage.Source URL: http://gotobeskinnybitch.blogspot.com/2009/08/
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Spa Surprise


    A colleague just got back from an Eskom High Tea Ladies Function and presented me with a voucher to go to Skin Sense Day Spa for a body scrub and Full Body Swedish Massage. She said she won it at the function and wanted to give it to me for all the hard work that I do for her.

    How sweet is she???

    I can't wait to book and go.

    Pampersville here we come...
    Source URL: http://gotobeskinnybitch.blogspot.com/2009/08/
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Wanna Puff?


    SmartCig is an alternative e-cigarette which resembles the real cigarette, tastes like the real cigarette, smokes like a real cigarette (water vapour) and feels like the real cigarette. And yet you will not inhale harmful carcinogens. All e-filters (Cartridges) are tested. Why "our" SmartCig?



    Smoking is undergoing a revolution! Get rid of the stinking ash, cigarette butts, morning coughs and shortness of breath! The Smartcig is the smarter, safer way to smoke!No more tar, carbon-monoxide or cyanide! Smartcig is a vaporising device, which vaporises a liquid containing nicotine. You still get your nicotine fix, without any of the harmful chemicals present in normal tobacco based cigarettes! The advantages are endless.
    Includes:
    2 Lithium Rechargeable Batteries (with Blue frontlight)
    6 Flavored Cartridges
    1 Atomiser unit
    1 Charger with powercord
    1 Cigarette Pouch
    1 User Manual
    Quality Assurance Certificate
    All this for R665.79
    and the refills are just over 60 bucks and available in different flavours including Mint (I am a menthol smoker)
    Five cartridges, comparable to light tobacco or cigarettes, but without Nicotine.
    1 Cartridge = 20 to 25 cigarettes.
    Source URL: http://gotobeskinnybitch.blogspot.com/2009/08/
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Janie and Her Princess Claire Jane

Out of the Mouths of Babes


    1) NUDITY
    I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'

    2) OPINIONS
    On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother.The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.'

    3) KETCHUP
    A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone.'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'

    4) MORE NUDITY
    A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
    The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

    5) POLICE # 1
    While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I
    answered and continued writing thereport.My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her.'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot
    toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'

    6) POLICE # 2
    It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my
    equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me.
    'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked. 'It sure is,' I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me
    and then towards the back of the van.Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'

    7) ELDERLY
    While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'

    8) DRESS-UP
    A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party.When she saw her dad donning his
    tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.' 'And why not, darling?'' You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'

    9) DEATH
    While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto
    the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)

    10) SCHOOL
    A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'

    11) BIBLE
    A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it.What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.' What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'
    Source URL: http://gotobeskinnybitch.blogspot.com/2009/08/
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